Tuesday, May 24, 2011

Men in Short Shorts, Encounters with the Mice Kind, Razors and ash

So I apologize again for not keeping up with my blog but living in The Gam has me on Gambian time where everything is Ndanka Ndanka.

Finally I have finished all my school work so I decided it would be a good time for me to sum up what I have been doing since my last post and considering that was a long time ago this is going to be a very long post so go grab a cup of coffee or glass of wine while you read.

A Long Journey

A five hour car ride isn't that long to endure. A five hour car ride in a van on roads that dont exists is a little hard to bear. The roads in the Gambia are comparable to the country roads of Snyder County. The roads in Senegal are non-existent what they call a road in a 5 foot hole in the ground so one is forced to drive on the side of the road which is made of dirt, sand, and rocks. One can assume that the journey to Dakar wasn't that pleasant and they would be correct. The good thing is instead of our usual van (no air conditioner, small bench seats, and  the seats could fall out of the bottom at any moment) we had a lovely air conditioned van with nice comfy seats. The landscape on our way to Dakar was similar to The Gambia but there were hills and mountains well what I would call a mountain after being on flat land for the past 4 months. There were also more trees, I like trees. On our way to Lac Rose where we were staying we drove through Kaolack aka trash city. I must say it was definitely the dirtiest city I have ever seen. there was trash everywhere, right beside piles of salt that was harvested from the port.

Once we arrived to our destination we were shown our accommodation which were luxurious we had an  air conditioner as well as hot water. The first thing that I did after arriving was jump in the shower, I took multiple showers a day in our time there. After scolding myself with hot water because I wasn't used to adjusting the temperature; my only option at the compound is whatever temperature the water is when it comes out of the hose which it usually luke warm to cold, we went to dinner. We were spoiled when it came to food. I think I put back on a few pounds that I previously lost after this trip. There was 3 course meals provided for us. I had steak, shrimp, Alfredo, steak again, and pizza, not all at once these were multiple meals. Thats enough babbling about my spoils  reminiscing on them are making me ready for my journey home.

Our second day at Lac Rose we drove into Dakar which was quite overwhelming. Dakar is a legit city, there are tall buildings, highways, sidewalks, parks, restaurants, shops, they even have a mall. After being in The Gambia where you can see a person you met in Banjul 3 hours away in a remote village it was quite the shock to see all the people that you knew you would never run into again. We went to the ferry port which was also overwhelming seeing that it was a real building with real seats, people standing in lines not hitting one another to get closer to the front. There were even fire distinguisher's.  Just as a reference point let me tell you about the ferry port in Banjul. There you sit under a roof on benches and brace yourself for the run your going to have to make to the ferry where you will be pushed maybe even hit, then you get onto the ferry where you stand amongst cars, people, and animals. Seeing the differences you will realize why I was so pleased with this ferry service. The actually ferry was almost tourist like it was a nice boat with seats for everyone, oh and they even had a safety demonstration, it was in French so I just hoped that I wouldn't get thrown overboard. The speed at which the ferry traveled was amazing compared to the hour plus ride it normally takes on the Bara Ferry in Banjul this ferry went the same distance in 15 minuets, this could be due to the fact that all engines were working. After this joyous ride we arrived at Gore Island which was one of the most beautiful sights that I have seen since being in The Gambia. The water was clear blue, the sand white, and the buildings where of every color of the rainbow. The sight of the place was much better then the actually island itself. Gore Island is a major tourist destination so the amount of hustling that went on here was a little overwhelming. As we sat and ate lunch we were interrupted on multiple occasions by people trying to sell us everything under the sun. Long story short Senegal is much more expensive then The Gambia therefore I did not purchase anything. I was happy to get off of the island. We then drove to the African Renaissance statue which is larger then the Statue of Liberty, not only that but it is situated on a gigantic hill. I wasn't sure I was going to make it up the stairs I almost felt like I was climbing the Great Wall of China. Over all I thought that the Statue was beautiful and the view of Senegal from the hill was quite surreal.

When we arrived back to our accommodation we were met by the French Army which happened to be training on the beach by our hotel. They being starved of female attention tried there best to flirt and communicate with me and my female counterparts. It was a failed attempt because only one of our crew spoke French and only one of there crew spoke English. After that long day I went to bed early and slept like a rock since I was able to take a hot shower and enjoy the air conditioning. The next morning we went and saw the actual lake which is called Lac Rose because it has a pink hue from the minerals in it. Men and women who live in the near by village harvest salt from this lake so there is piles of white salt all around it. I was even lucky enough to have a taste of the salt it was quite nice as far a salt goes. We also got to go on sand dunes in a huge cut off truck. Later that day we chilled by the pool surrounded by the French Army who wears short shorts as part of there uniform. Not Attractive!! Anyways even though there was a language barrier drinks were still bought for me that I cant complain about.

My Favorite part of my Senegal trip was that we got to see Vivian Ndour. For those of you who have never heard of her dont feel bad I never did before I came to The Gambia. Vivian is a huge star in West Africa her songs are catchy and can be heard everywhere. The concert was to start at midnight, this is West Africa and time does not work the same here as you could probably see from previous posts. We left the hotel at 12 and took two cars to the location of the concert, it was like we were really in the Paris Dakar Rally as we swerved to avoid pot holes on the road and sped to get to the concert "on time." We arrived at the venue and to be expected the power went out and they weren't even letting people in yet. Thankfully our tour guide/very sexy Senegalese man was able to get us in. Not only did we get into the concert early we also got to meet Vivian. This was all wonderful but let me go into a little more detail. The concert didn't start till around  2am, it was out door and it was probably 60 degrees out, this is cold when your used to 80,90,or 100 degree tempurates. We left the concert early and got home around 4am and slept two hour had breakfast got in our van and headed back to Banjul. I was so glad to be back in the small Gambia where you can hitchhike and probably be picked up by someone that you know.

Mice, Razors, and Ash

One of my "to do's" while in The Gambia was to get a Fula Tattoo. I was presented with this opportunity when we went up country to a Fula Village. After hearing that there was a lady in the near by village who was willing to give us the scars me and my fellow house mates minus  2 all bought razors from the local shop to ensure that they were clean and sterile. We then preceded to the older lady who was sitting beneath a mango tree. The people sitting there were looking at us like what the hell are these Tubobs doing, although I think in the end they were impressed with us and enjoyed the fact that we partook in there cultural tradition. Dylan was the first to go and watching the process I was starting to get a little nervous but I kept my cool and watched him and my roommate go through the process. It was then my turn, since I was scared my veins would be cut if I got the tattoo on my writs I opted to get them on my side. I was filled with adrenaline as I stood under that mango tree shirt up with a women cutting three lines in my side with a razor. After the cuts were made the women packed the wound with ash. The Idea is that the ash will heal into the wound and whats left is three dark lines. This is what is supposed to happen but since my wound have healed I am left with just three scars that have a slight dark color, but hey the experience was worth it. The reason for the lines is because the fula people believe that they keep away the evil spirits and if thats what they believe I am happy to be protected.

After getting a long ride to get up country and being cut by an old women under a mango tree I was ready for bed but I was also hungry. When we got back to our accommodations which you will soon understand was no Sheraton, we  waited for dinner. Dinner was very good as was our company of monkeys. All I wanted to do was sleep after consuming it. This was not really possible. The huts we stayed in were not equipped with power and it was very hot out. It took me a long time to fall asleep due to the fact that I could hear all the wild life outside my screen window as well as what I assumed were bats in the ceiling. Once I was finally asleep, probably 4am, I know this because the call to prayer was being sung, I was awaken by a shuffle at the end of my bed. I thought I had just kicked my bag when I realized that my foot wasn't near my bag. With this realization I threw my pillow at the direction of the sound and jumped out of my bed. To shorten this story let me get to the point. As I went to the door to escape my roommate was like Shelby is that you and I was like yes and she was like did you just touch my leg and I said no. She too had a visitor in her bed. After this we decided to just go by the water and wait for the sun to rise and for breakfast. 

As part of our accommodation we were given the chance to take a boat even further up country where we were promised to see hippos. The boat ride was a total of 6 hours and I slept for about 2 of them. The food on the boat was the best food I have had so far. Its amazing what can be cooked in a small kitchen on a boat. 
On our ride we managed to see a few hippos which was neat to see them not in the zoo but sadly all we could see of them were the tops of there heads. 

I am sick of writing about that so let me just tell you the following night I was able to sleep without mice in my bed. 

Wrap up

So I now only have 12 days left in this wonderful country and I cant believe it. I have had the time of my life along with so many once in a life time experiences. It is going to be a super hard semester next year after the one I had here. Not saying that it was always easy but things are negotiable here, I dont think thats something that I can bring back to SU. I am going to miss the smiling faces as well as the children shouting toubob at me. As for the adults shouting things at me thats something I am happy to leave behind. All in all though I cant wait to see my friends and family, have a burger from the dollor menu, and take a hot shower after driving my car.

As usual I am now in the mood to list.

Things I am going to miss.

Drinks being bought
Drinking being legal
Old Creepy men
Dancing the dinosaur dance
My Housemates
Benichinn(my favorite local dish)
Being at La Pariesien 24 hours a day (the internet cafe that has the best ice cream along with wonderful people who work there)
Aladdin's and Husein
Hitch hiking 
seeing cows in the town 
pigs getting chased down the road by dogs 
babys on the backs of women 
the beach 
the predictable weather
gully gully rides 

and so many more.............................

Tuesday, April 12, 2011


So I am beginning to realize that all of the things that I just pass off as an everyday sort of life experience are actually things that pre this trip I would have thought were crazy. Since I like to make list's I decided I am going to make a list of all the things that I just accept to be normal that would never be seen in America or maybe not even anywhere in The Gambia.

  1. Seeing goats and sheep everywhere including tied to the tops of Bush-taxis and in front of restaurants.
  2. Monkeys on the side of the road or just seeing monkeys in general.
  3. Cows on the beach and crossing the street
  4. Sheep being washed in the ocean
  5. Two men riding on a motorcycle
  6. Hitchhiking as a legit means of transportation
  7. Eating, Drinking, Showering, and Reading by candle light
  8. Classrooms with no windows
  9. Sheep wondering into classrooms
  10. lack of desks chairs ect. 
  11. Riding in cars that the doors will literally fall off while driving 
  12. Riding in the back of trucks
  13. Riding in the backs of trucks with ladders on top
  14. Even though I can say that Selinsgrove and Middleburg are a small place, The Gambia Is so small in terms of seeing everyone you have ever met all the time in the most random places and also in the fact that there are people from everywhere here.
  15. Seeing people pay bribes
  16. Seeing a person driving a bike with a mattress on there head
  17. Seeing a person with a TV on the back of there bike
  18. People offering to give me a lift on the back of there bike
  19. Dog ears laying on the ground
  20. Little kids carrying baby's on there back 
  21. babies who can walk a a very young age and babies that are left alone at a very young age 
  22. I know have a Gambian attitude towards tourist and I am often times offended when treated like one.
  23. walked in 106 degree weather 
I could go on and one but like I said I am desensitized and everything that would seem weird to someone not from here I see as being completely normal. I am in a very list making mood right now so I will continue with another list. Here is a list of things that I have not done since I have been here. 

  1. Drove a car 
  2. Took a hot shower or warm shower for that matter 
  3. Had clean feet
  4. Ate ham or Bacon 
  5. Seen a Mall or Walmart 
  6. lived in a house with a tv 
  7. worn clothes that were clean 
  8. used a microwave
  9. spent over $10 on a meal
  10. seen rain 
  11. been in weather under 80 degrees
  12. pet a clean dog or cat 
  13. seen a vet
  14. seen a washing machine 
  15. walked on a sidewalk
Things that I miss
  1. My family
  2. My Friends
  3. being able to get in a car and drive where ever I want 
  4. sidewalks 
  5. ice 
  6. green grass
  7. supermarkets that have everything 
  8. walmart 
  9. movies 
  10. movie theaters 
  11. air conditioning 
  12. real showers 
  13. Pet-able animals  
  14. being able to talk freely without the fear of the government
  15. being able to dress like an individual and be an individual not being seen as just a white person
  16. walking without being bothered by anyone else 
  17. having a real bed 
  18. sleeping though the night 
  19. having a limitless amount of food options 
  20. drive thrus 
  21. Burgers and Steak

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Duma Touris

So I apologize for not writing in like the whole last month. I have been too busy taking in as many experiences that I can and not to mention the fact that I had two papers to write and any work in the Gam is amplified 100% due to lack of recourses and frequent power outages.

I have now been in The Gambia for almost 3 months and it is unbelievable how much in love I am with the country and its people.  For being in the smallest country on the West coast of Africa I have met more people from many more different places then I have ever met in the United States. This country is a melting pot. I am not even including the many tourists who flock here for the Sun Sand and Smiles. The Gambia has become a safe haven for people of many different origins. I hitchhiked with a Serbian family, a family from Cuba; I have also encountered many people from neighboring countries such as Sera Leon, Guinea Bissau, Mali, and Senegal. There is also a very large Lebanese population and we have become very close with them.  

Every day is a new adventure and even when we notice that were caught in a routine we still manage to switch it up somehow. Our favorite hangout spot is Aladdin’s, it is owned by the nicest Lebanese man who really reminds me of my father. He is kind and generous and has quite the sense of humor. Often times we get food knocked off our bill and the algile (can’t spell)  also known as hookah is always free. I have even learned the ritual of how to pass the hose and how to thank the person giving it to you, oh we also learned that the words for the thing you put on the end of the hookah is called a beez which translates into something similar to boob.  Due to our frequenting here we have realized how small the country really is. One of the customers that usually comes there who my friends got a ride with, is the cousin of another guy who dropped us home the previous weekend. It seems that everyone knows someone and connections can be found all over the place.   We have been invited to a bbq from the Hussein the owner of Aladdin’s, I am really looking forward to this.

The one girl that we live with Matilda is from Sweden and I have picked up a few phrases and words from her in Swedish. Of course these are words and phrases that I probably won’t ever use because there not something you would go up and say to just anyone.  My Wolof is improving although the only words I every use are Duma Touris, jangakatla, which means I am not a tourist I am a student. This I often times say to taxi drivers who like to try and take advantage of tourist who don’t know the going rate for a taxi.

It’s hard to sum up my experience here so far but the most important thing I have learned that the world is a very small place. A lot of Gambians have traveled to Europe and America and a lot of Gambians also have family living in these places. It’s important to be generous, those without a lot of money are always willing to make you dinner. This is something I would like to take back to the US. All to often people are only thinking about themselves, making and saving money that they miss out on the human experience of sharing.

I went to dinner at one of our neighbor’s mothers house and it was a wonderful experience. The food was wonderful, served in a big bowl and eaten communally with our hands. We also watched a Nigerian film that was extremely interesting.

I am going to be very deprived of attention when I get back to the States. I am now used to people who are driving in the opposite direction turning around to pick me up and take me where I need to go even though it was not anywhere near their destination. I have had my food pied for, and people who are more than willing to sit and listen to me. Everyone here says hello and would love more than anything then to sit and talk with you all day. At bars I never have to pay for a thing , Being able to go to bars is something that I am really going to miss the 6 months I am home before I turn 21.  Little kids on the street running up to me is something that I will never experience in America. Parents instill in their children that stranger a bad. With this attitude children are going to grow up to stick to what and who they know and will never experience what the world has to offer. We can all learn from each other and one another’s culture. I look forward to being more outgoing when I get back and taking my time listening to other peoples point of view.

I am sorry that this blog is so wishy washy but I had a lot to cover and I barely even scratched the surface. I am going to need to start another blog just documenting my night life experiences those within themselves would make a wonderful novel much like those by Chelsea Handler!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

1 month in

I have been here in The Gambia for over a month now.  I cant believe that much time has passed, in a way it feels like I have been here all my life and in other ways it feels like I have just arrived. I am always having Larium dreams that I am going home and I wake up upset because I am no where ready to leave. I absolutely love it here. I feel myself changing more and more everyday whether its the color of my skin or my own philosophy on life. I am now running on Gambian time which may be a problem when I get back to the states. Here it is as if people are going with the flow and by flow I mean slow trickle of life. Its nice to just move with time instead of making time go to the pace that you want it to. If someone is late it just lets you know that in the future its ok to make them wait. Being on Tubob time when everyone else is on gambian time is not fun. Most events start atleast 2 hours after the designated time. People seem quite understanding of everything that happens. In Woloff mas means sorry and people are always saying mas even if you are the one that has done something. Me being clumsy as I am often times find myself tripping here and running into things and when I do such things as this I hear shouts of mas everywhere.

Hitchhiking is my favorite thing to do in The Gambia. Its a way to meet all sorts of people. The Gambia is a melting pot and often times when we get in a car we find that people come from all over to live in the Gambia and Gambians have also been everywhere. We have made friends with people from the Libyan embassy. Whether we need a ride or not they are always stopping for us and we seem to see them everywhere. The other day I got in a truck with air conditioning it was a wonderful treat to feel cool air.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

Working on Gambian time

         I have now been in The Gambia for over 2 weeks now. Although everything takes time to adjust to I think that I have adjusted rather quickly. Every day is a new experience and a test of trial and error. There are the good the bad the entertaining the strange and the down right bizzare.
        Classes for example are much different then classes that I am used to. Some aspects I like more and some I like less. It can sometimes be hard to follow what the professors are saying because even though they speak English its not easy to understand. I had to drop two classes and pick up another due to different circumstances. The one class was in a large lecture hall with about 80 students, this is a lot different from what I am used to. Because the class was so large and the room was so big I could not hear a word that the professor was saying. My other class that I dropped was one of the most boring classes I have ever sat through it was also the longest. You see, here in The Gambia maybe this is the case in all West Africa I am not sure how it goes in other universities but here the professor and students choose when a class is. If the students have a problem with the time they negotiate a different time to have class even if it messes up everyone else's classes. In this class the professor had a problem with the time so he decided he only wanted to teach it once a week and in order to meet hours requirements he could teach the class as long as he wanted to. It just so happened that this was my last class of the day and he ended up teaching half an hour later then scheduled so I ended up getting home very late because its an hour bush taxi ride away from the house.
       My other classes I enjoy very much and since I have dropped and added other classes I feel so much better about going to school. On Mondays I only have 3 classes and they are Popular Culture/A lecture in modern history, Intro to Logic, and Stress Coping and Health. On Thursdays I have all the above listed classes with the addition of Historiography.  Both of my history classes are taught by Dr. Fourshey who is my advisor form SU. It is interesting seeing how she has to adapt her teaching styles for here in The Gambia. Intro To logic is Taught by a cute old Gambian man. He is a priest so we call him father. He has a way of getting the class involved in discussions and instead of putting ideas in our head he gives us examples to debate and make our own opinions about. Its the way that Philosophy should be taught. Father also has the most adorable belly laugh ever and I quite enjoy whenever anything sets him off on a laughing fit. Stress coping and health is by far the most amazing class I have ever taken and probably the most amazing class I will ever take. Its taught by a very eccentric Scottish women. I do not yet know here whole life story but I plan to sit and hear it over drinks some night. She used to be an acrobat, an actress, and she also teaches theater. The class itself is all about finding yourself, different forms of meditation, and just being open to the world. Its a perfect class to have at the end of a long day because I always leave class feeling stress free and refreshed.
       Restaurants are very interesting in The Gambia this is where I had to start dealing with the concept of Gambian time. The first local restaurant that we went to was on our way to the beach. Myself including all my house mates walked into the building and were greeted by a man. He called his employees on the phone and when we ordered drinks he went next door to the store to get them. It took us about 30 minuets to even have our food order taken. Once we ordered food we could see that it was going to be a long time until we actually got our food because we saw the man who was making the food walk out to go get the ingredients. Once we actually got our food it was worth the wait because we knew everything was fresh. It was the best sandwich that I have had so far here and it was very cheap compared to the ones that we get at the beach. After this experience and then other that we have had at restaurants have taught us to be very patient while at restaurants.
       Bathrooms, hmmmmmm. Appreciate the bathrooms that you have. Most bathrooms here even in public buildings do not have toilet paper. I am not sure how the ritual of washings ones self goes but I have not yet tried, instead I make sure to always have toilet paper on me. If you are in a village expect to squat in a trough or hole type contraption. I had to go to the restroom at a grocery store once and that was quite the experience I went in to the room labeled toilet and it literally was a hole in the ground, a very small hole I am not quite sure how one does number two in the hole it would take some very accurate aiming skills.
      Now for more information on Gambian time and the importance of patience and stress coping. Yesterday we woke up at 7 had breakfast at 8 and left the house at 830 to get to to the school were we were supposed to bored a bus at 10 to go to the roots festival. We made it there on time which I know never to do again. The bus was not there and after about an hour we find out that it has broken down and is currently being fixed but that it should soon be done. 2 hours later we find out that it is en-route to the school so we decide to wait for it. 15 minuets later it has arrived at school but it needs to be fixed again. 2:30 rolls around and we finally leave for whats expected to be 2 hour journey to the presidents home town and place of the roots festival. an hour into the trip the bus breaks down. So we all get out of the bus and play with the village children and even join in a dance circle. About an hour after the break down we get on the bus that has been jumped started by military vehicle and continue about 15 minuets up the road where the bus breaks down again. So we all pile into the military vehicle and two Gully Gullys which are large vans and head up the road. Its a very tight squeeze and part of the drive is off road but we make it to the festival which has yet to begin but we have no way of getting back if we stay so we get in another Gully Gully and head home. All of my house mates and I had quite the bonding experience on the Gully Gully because we had to cuddle and sit on each others laps just to fit. On this Gully Gully was a man who wanted me to marry him and stay with him on his farm. I politly turned him down and 5 minuets later our tire went flat and here we were in the middle of know where with our a spare tire, so we got out played with village children again. By this time it is now dark out and we get bit by bugs. We finally get a tire get back in the vehicle and continue to overload the Gully Gully to the point where people were sitting on the floor. Just our luck the police stop us and the diver had to bribe them to let us continue. We finally get to the car park in Birkama where we must find a bush taxi to our house in Old Jeshwang but the former diver of the other car claims we didn't pay and that he wants more money so we must pay him more just so that we can get home. The Bush taxi we take decides to give us a rough time and tell us that he wont take us all the way home unless we give him more money so we do just so we can get home, eat and go to bed, which is exactly what we did.
        All these experiences have taught me not to have expectations and to just make the best out of every situation, I forgot to add that we got to hang out with the other exchange students who come from other African countries, that was a nice experience I cant wait to hang out with them again.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Culture shock

A week has passes and culture shock has set in.
Bag of water
Cats, dogs, donkeys, goats, sheep, monkeys, lizards, birds, all roam the street
Dangerous driving conditions more dangerous walking conditions, look both ways!
Everyone wants to talk to you, almost everyone wants your number, some people will tell you they love you.
Fish market, not a place you want to go, or be near, smelly
Gambia's moto Its nice to be nice
Hair,  my hair has turned into straw and I soon may have dreads weather I want them or not.
I am in love with the children
Just let it be, I got on the wrong bush taxi and was super nervous but it all worked out in the end
Kind people do exist, just have to watch out for the love diggers and gold digger.
Lamin is the name given to all first born sons in Wolof culture
My feet hurt from walking everywhere
No toilet paper you have to provide your own, mine looks and feels like pink party streamers
Pace, the pace of life his is very very slow Ndanka Ndanka.
Quiet, people speak very softly here, its hard to hear teachers in class as well.
Rest, I have gotten into the habit of going to bed early and waking up early
Trees, there are so many pretty trees here
Stacy, the name that I tell people who I dont want to know my name such as those who I hitchhike with
Universal, smiling is universal it is a way to express many different things even if you dont know the language
Vegetables are a staple as is bread, rice, and pasta
Women weren't aloud to attend school prior to the 60's
Zebras, havent seen one and dont think I will

Friday, January 28, 2011

Larium Aerobics and Minties

So I have been here 5 full days and I must say that the way things are going I might be able to come back to the US and run a triathlon. Mr. Freedman is the aerobics instructor at one of the one and only gyms in The Gambia. He can appear to be a frightening man but in reality he is a sweetheart who just wants to whip his customers into shape. A one month membership costs 100 Dalasies which is equal to 3 dollars. The gym itself is a very run down stadium and the classes dont have windows which is the norm for most buildings here. It is about a mile walk to and from the stadium, the walk itself is quite interesting. Yesterday while walking we had followers, a group of kids bombarded us. It was cute at first because they held our hands and were talking to us then they started asking for things money/candy/homes. They call candy minties and while walking anywhere kids often yell Toubob minites. When they found out we had nothing to offer them they ran off.

Larium is the drug that I am taking for malaria prevention, it has a list of  side effects but the one that I am suffering from is weird crazy dreams, anger and death filled dreams. It is beginning to get a little disturbing because while I am in the dream everything seems like it is normal but when I wake up and think about the dream all I can think of is wow that was messed up, I didnt even know that I had thoughts like that. Larium must dive deep and unlock the deepest of my subconscious, almost as if it releases people from inception.